Saturday, January 14, 2012

I Need YOU

I've gone so far alone
I don't have the first clue how to back track my way home
I miss You
In the deepest and emptiest recesses of my lonely soul
Please come get me
I have no clue how to come get You
The empty scripture quoting, the simple prayer remarks in my mind leave me with a lonely emptiness I can't articulate
I need You
You make me feel alive
Its You I am longing for
The futile attempts to fill this aching void is exhausting and overwhelming
The habits of menial substitutions have charred my heart
Tell me You love me again- still, now, and before-since time began
I need to re-experience the personal and utter totality of Calvary
Hell and back so I never have to
I need to refresh my mind in the clarity of You
King Jesus don't pass me by
I need You
Please carry me I'm so very tired
I need Your strength because mine is expired
Lead me to rest in Your heart-filled with love for me
My home built with Your Own hands
Help me to believe it
Guide me to receive it
And establish my soul in your atmosphere
Absent in fear- immersed in love- perfect in peace
Hold me there despite the storms of my earthly lot


Sometimes I miss you
I wish I could revel in your positivity
and undo all your mishaps
I think about you a lot lately
The familiarity of the moments which then were novel
Yea, its true.. I miss you
I'm different today
so if I re-live you it won't be the same
I guess that makes me sad
Yet simultaneously glad
I mourn the loss your absence supplies
Celebrate the reminisce our triumphs provide
I need to formally greet you so that I can live in this moment
so here goes..
farewell, goodbye, so long

Monday, January 9, 2012


In between dream and reality
So many obstacles
Ready to anticipate defeat
I am holding you as tight as I can
Dream you are fragile
I am terrified you will slip through my hand
Excuse me laziness, may you show me the quickest route to motivation
The surest detour from procrastination
I have been on this brink before
And I stand here again
But this time I am not alone
I have roamed and as I consequence of coming home
I now have Your clarity
Your promise of my destiny
I see the horizon of the perpetual day...a dream realized
As I stand on Your faith I can see beyond the cloud of my fear-filled doubt
Yes with the pride kicked from beneath me I can stand in humble awe of You
Dream deferred you are now becoming my reality
Dream Realtor I have a confession
In You I have financed all my heart's desire
I am glad you have determined this lot, this life, this dream... as Yours and mine

Ps 37

Good Afternoon 2012

A New Year has come and the old one flew by. I cant hardly understand how time is going so quickly. I think it has a lot to do with how much I find my self doing from day to day. Gabby is now a toddler and keeping up with her engrosses my whole day! I think I want to freeze time for awhile so I can enjoy the fleeting moments of her babyhood! Well the only real resolutions I have involve completing what I started. I want this year to be a year that I wrap up all the loose ends that I am always going to tie "tomorrow".

Retaking the MCAT
Organizing all my wedding cards
Categorizing all my cards from my sweetie
Redefining my relationship with God
Becoming serious about being a servant
Being more kind and loving to the people I cherish

I have literally made a list already. Some of the things are a bit personal, too personal to post. But I think that sums up the big picture. If I summarized 2011 I would definitely call it a year that God has been developing some serious patience in my life. It hit me like a ton of bricks just yesterday how far I have to go, but also how far He has brought me. I hope to continue to strive and press toward the mark, the high calling of God, for which I exist.

One of the biggest epiphanies this year has been this- God is striving to help us achieve all the plans He has for us. Along the way I have acquired some serious scars. But looking at those scars proves His strength. I have decided to claim His strength and not magnify my weakness. This is going to change not only my perspective, but change my life. So good afternoon 2012 and good night 2011!

Happy New Year!